Trump With Man Boobs With Kanye West Funny Pic

Film critic Donald Trump reaches into his racist, rat-chewed box of Froot Loops to mock 'Parasite' and Brad Pitt

Trump didn't get the global hoopla over 'Parasite,' the winner of the Best Film Oscar, because he is a parasite on democracy, writes Vinay Menon.

Now that he has solved climate change, eliminated the debt, fixed health care, built a wall, won the trade wars, ended election meddling, killed the terrorists and landed on Mars, Donald Trump is a film critic.

And he has a few things he needs to get off his man boobs.

At a deranged rally in Colorado on Thursday, the U.S. president took a break from ranting about witch hunts and fake news to fixate on a more urgent matter: why did "Parasite" win Best Picture?

Isn't that like a Syrian refugee winning "American Idol"?

Why don't we just give an MTV Video Music Award to a pile of chopsticks?

"How bad were the Academy Awards this year?" Trump asked his cult members, who held their mouth-breathing long enough to boo. "Did you see? And the winner is … a movie from South Korea! What the hell was that all about? We've got enough problems with South Korea, with trade. On top of it, they give 'em the best movie of the year?"

That Trump believes it's the country that gets an Oscar and bilateral agreements should factor into voting only proves he sees everything as a quid pro quo. If Slovenia ever jacks up tariffs on SUV fenders, Trump will retaliate by cutting Melania's allowance in half. If the U.K. ever launches a viable competitor to Fox News, Trump will level the Tower of London with bombs etched with Sean Hannity's husky silhouette.

But the bigger question is why did Trump subject his moonshine-guzzling admirers to a Siskel & Ebert homage and give two tiny thumbs down to a movie he hasn't even seen? The answer is obvious: Trump, the film critic, is the same xenophobic, rat-chewed box of Froot Loops as Trump, the president.

"Let's get 'Gone With the Wind,'" Trump babbled on, as supporters under the age of 80 glanced around, baffled by his reference to a 1939 epic romance that whitewashed slavery and the antebellum South in the same year Hitler was giving fiery speeches and asbestos was in high demand. "Can we get like 'Gone With the Wind' back, please? 'Sunset Boulevard.' So many great movies. The winner is … from South Korea!"

This wasn't cultural commentary; it was another racist dog-whistle.

How bad were the Academy Awards? Did you patriotic hillbillies see that attack on our big-screen borders as those weirdos invaded the Dolby Theatre? Some of them probably had Coronavirus. They all looked like Mickey Rooney's "Mr. Yunioshi" in "Breakfast at Tiffany's." They couldn't even give their acceptance speeches in ENGLISH, coming up onstage, speaking their spring rolls language. Is this the Oscars or Manchu Wok? These undocumented filmmakers should've been played offstage with "Sweet Home Alabama." If I were running the Academy, I'd separate director Bong Joon-ho from his family, put him in a cage and force him to watch "The Birth of a Nation." Then I'd throw a double cheeseburger at his face. This is America, Bong! We don't need your class satire on social inequality when 95 per cent of my fans are one burst appendix away from bankruptcy!

But the good news, for those of us who still value truth and decency, is that Hollywood has once again gotten under the pumpkin skin of the narcissist-in-chief. In addition to showcasing his cinematic ignorance by casting aspersions on "Parasite," Trump — whose IMDB credits include "The Little Rascals" and "Home Alone 2: Lost In New York" — went after Brad Pitt, calling him a "little wise guy" three times in six seconds.

Why? Because while collecting his Oscar for Best Supporting Actor this month, Pitt took a shot at Trump and the sham impeachment trial: "They told me I only had 45 seconds, which is 45 seconds more than the Senate gave John Bolton this week."

Ouch. Another ouch: Neon, the U.S. distributor of "Parasite," which parried Trump's film criticism by tweeting a scathing joke about subtitles and his dislike for the film — "Understandable, he can't read."

And as Democratic candidates eat their own and free fall through the primary stage of internecine warfare, those of us who always saw Trump for what he is — an immoral charlatan and lying sociopath who only cares about himself — need Hollywood to keep kicking him in the crotch, as they did this week. Whether it's Martin Sheen texting MSNBC a doctored bumper sticker with "Trump-Putin" on the Republican ticket or Mark Hamill lampooning Trump's claim to be "chief law enforcement officer" by asking for a bad "Star Wars" TV special to be pardoned, the entertainment industry has demonstrated real power to get inside the president's head because, deep down, he's always longed for its embrace.

But Trump was never accepted by the rich and famous because his character is poor and obscure.

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If you invited him over for dinner, you'd be missing silverware the next morning.

So imagine how his numbskull would explode if all of the top recording artists who despise him — so everyone except Kanye West — got together for a Live Aid-style concert in support of whoever his political opponent turns out to be. Imagine his rage-tweeting if every TV show for the rest of this year found a way to give a cameo to Barack Obama. Imagine every late night comedy ridiculing Trump's gaffes and lies even more as Election Day approaches. Imagine a Marvel villain based on Trump's p---y-grabbing ways or a new sci-fi trilogy in which his toupee loses an intergalactic battle to Justin Bieber's moustache.

Trump didn't get the global hoopla over "Parasite" because he is a parasite on democracy.

And every entertainer should now put him in the bombsights.

As it turns out, Trump, the film critic, is as pathetic as Trump, the president.

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Source: https://www.thestar.com/entertainment/opinion/2020/02/21/film-critic-donald-trump-reaches-into-his-racist-rat-chewed-box-of-froot-loops-to-mock-parasite-and-brad-pitt.html

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